Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Michael Gundy essay on cell phones

Look,

there are entire labs full of Chimps who spend their whole life with Cell-phones bound to their heads. The difference is they don’t answer or make calls.

In fact all Mobile phones are powered internally by mice running in little wheels anyway*.

Its not the phone per-say, its talking and listening to the inane chatter, thats the cause.

If you had one and didn’t use it you would be safe. The phone-companies don’t want you to know that, as it affects their profits.

* The mice have earplugs so they are perfectly safe.

P.S “Charging” really just feeds them essential nutrients, notice each phone needs a “special charger”, which is also why, if you don’t charge your phone regularly, the “battery” goes dead on you (and starts to smell funny).

Thats also why its vitally important to recycle your phone

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