I had this conversation at Starbucks

Me: Oh, you don't have any food!
Barista 1: We discontinued the sandwiches. We were making like thirteen dollars profit a month.
Me: I guess I'll take this fruit salad.
Barista 2: Do you want a fork, or spoon with that?
Barista 1: We don't have any forks.
Me: Did you discontinue that too?
Barista 1: No, we're just out of them.
Me: Uh... could you give me a... plastic glove?
Barista 1: Seriously?
Barista 2: I could give you two plastic knives, and you could use them like chopsticks.

SONGS TO WEAR PANTS TO

Go to SONGS TO WEAR PANTS TO immediately. The author of this site is a mega-talented songwriter who writes songs in any genre on subjects suggested by emails. You will laugh and be amazed.

A millionaire wearing my Hawaiian shirt

Dale Carlsen, the founder of Sleep Train.

This car has been sitting in the street for about a week. There's an orange note attached to the inside of the windshield... what does it say? 

Another untaken photo

At Espresso Metro today I saw a young man and a young woman sharing an iPod, each with one earbud in an ear. I was too shy to take a photo.

My latest cartoon

This week's cartoon is really good.
And if you know me, you know I rarely say that.
Maryann asked to use it in her class on Adult Development and Aging.

Pronoia: the antidote to Paranoia

Rob Brezny, the syndicated author of Free Will Astrology, has written a book on pronoia — the feeling that the world is out to help you.

What a theater degree from Sac State will get you

The ancient art of fish rubbing, where you take an actual salmon, coat it with paint, and then press down a piece of paper on top to make a print. 

Machine-man love

Mmm...oil

Good news/bad news

I got an email from a company that wants to put some of my cartoons on T-shirts. The bad news is that the Mamma Mia! job in Bakersfield is off.

When I first started tuning the pianos at Sacramento City College, I put locks on the two big Baldwin grands. Last year, I suddenly noticed that both locks were gone. Somebody had taken a lot of trouble to remove them completely, leaving nothing but empty screw holes. Last night I installed new locks on the pianos and this morning I handed the keys to Rob Knable(head of the music department) at Espresso Metro.
We talked a little about Darril, the SCC professor who recently died in a motorcycle accident. Darril's father had been dean of the music department at University of the Pacific, and most famously, the man responsible for saving Dave Brubeck from getting kicked out of college. The story goes that the school finally decided to let Brubeck stay "as long as he promised never to teach music."

I tuned Denise and Scott's piano, and afterwards their son Henry showed me his cello. I also found out that Denise took choir with my former neighbor Marguerite Warren (who unfortunately now is locked up somewhere with Alzheimer's.) I always thought of the Warrens as very conservative, but Denise told me about another side. Mrs. Warren would say to the choir, "When you're getting ready to sing, I want you to imagine that you all have a dime up your rectum. I want to hear all the dimes hit the floor at the same time!" 

Video Games Live

I got a call today to play with the Video Games Live! tour which features a light show and live performers with a full orchestra. The dates are Nov. 5 at the San Jose Civic Auditorium and Nov. 6 at the Masonic Hall in San Francisco.

I was on my way to the dentist to have him fix a cracked filling, when I realized that I had a flat tire. While taking off the tire, I sheared off one of the stems. I took it to the garage, and discovered that the tire wasn't punctured after all — the valve core was bad. Meanwhile, though, I got a call from the Mamma Mia tour, and they want me to play for Christmas week in Bakersfield! Very close to LA and all our friends and relatives there.

If you add up all the cigarette burns I've seen in my whole life, they would still be less than I saw on this one piano. It used to be in a restaurant. 

The Sunflower Cafe is tucked into a difficult-to-find corner of Fair Oaks Village. It frequently gets awards for Best Vegetarian Food and especially, best Veggieburger.  

Look, Mom, it's Spiderman

The customers at Vic's Supermarket frequently remark on this checker's resemblance to Toby Maguire.

This band played at A Taste of Land Park, a fancy block party featuring Sacramento restaurants and wineries.